Wednesday, May 22, 2019

This Project is Cursed

After I sliced up my right index finger on Thursday, I sulked for 48 hours, then decide maybe I could still sew with the machine.  Threading the needle took 20 minutes.  Finding the right tension and stitch width took another 20 minutes.  Finally, I was ready to go!

And after ten minutes, I ran over my right index finger with the needle of the sewing machine.  Right through the finger, to the other side, in that squishy bit next to the nail.  The needle broke off, leaving a metal shard that R had to remove with a tweezers.

I learned to use a sewing machine when I was 8.  I have been making quilted things with the machine for over 20 years.  I used to laugh at people who were worried about running over their fingers with the sewing machine, because nobody is that stupid.

I am that stupid.

What makes me extra angry is these accidents happen at 10 am, when I'm cold sober and reasonably alert.  Two beers in I can embroider past midnight without incident...

I have used the idle time looking at photographs, creating a Patreon, and watching ALF in German.

Thursday, May 16, 2019

The most boring Object I have ever Finished

This morning while I was making lovely forward progress on a new half-inch hexagon piece, I sliced open my right index finger with my lovely extra-sharp Japanese scissors. I guess what's important is I didn't drip any blood on my project, but I can't hold a pen or a needle right now and I'm angry.  I lost a month of embroidery in November after peeling a strip of skin off my left thumb in what I will call The Sweet Potato Incident, but at least I could write/sketch.

But I can still type.  Sort of. 

Shortly after Smokey died last month I finished a thing. A terrible thing, but at least a thing with a story.  The interior pieces were a door prize from my old quilt guild in 2014, a packet of 2.5-inch squares of 19th-century reproduction fabric.  Lovely, but really my style.  In 2016, we bought the rug and I had a realization.

I bought the border fabric at the Patchworkmesse in Erding. It's from the same designer/collection as the squares, which is not a thing I care about but made harmonizing easier.  After starting the border, I got stuck and let it sit around for two and a half years, mocking me.  Parts fell on my head. Stray half-hexagons got stuck to my socks.  I couldn't figure out how to make the edge straight, so finally I ripped all the half-hexagons out and performed the SHOFS (See Hexagons On the Flip Side). Gave it a good hate finish, one might say.

 It's puffy and asymmetric. It will be a pleasure to set flower pots on it.

But hey, I've got this:
It's my third finished UFO of the year, but I can't find the second.

Friday, May 10, 2019

Spring Flowers at Der Sichtungsgarten

Earlier in the week it wasn't too warm and I didn't have to cook dinner, so I spent a late afternoon hour at Der Sichtungsgarten.  Late tulips, early peonies, and the wisteria and lilacs smelled absolutely divine.

Die Pfingstrosen (peonie)

Der Flieder (lilac)

Die Tulpe (tulip)

And finally, something for you weirdos who like to look at things further than three inches from your nose--all the spring colors!

Der Blauregen (wisteria)

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Everything is Stupid

Well, the EU Parliament just voted to make the internet read-only for its subjects who are unaffiliated with entertainment companies. I don't know how much longer I'll be allowed to upload images--or use Blogger at all, it'll be easier for Google to just wall off all the EU IP addresses--but [hippie voice] maybe the thing with creating is the creating itself and not trying to share it with human beings who live outside my house. 

[real voice] Nyah, that's bullshit. I need people to look at what I do and tell me it looks cool.

Anyway, this afternoon after it all went down I forced myself Outside into the cold, damp wind, because I keep hearing this rumor that walking through the woods can improve your mood.  The trees are being culled so fast, I'm not sure I can call it walking "through the woods" much longer. So, no improvement there. Everything is just as stupid, but now I'm frozen through and need an allergy pill.

It was too windy to use the camera's hi-def on flowers but it has some crazy artsy-fartsy-filter settings. Completely useless for identifiable photos of things, but alright for fucking around in a cemetery when you're in a bad mood anyway.

It's like a movie poster from the Weimar Era.
It's actually a quote from Francis of Assisi. "[He] who dies awakens to eternal life."

No post-processing except the watermark.
The sun came out while I was walking, but you'd never know from the photographs.

Can doves be goths?

I'll end with a straight photo--there are some very nice examples of traditional Bavarian painted metal grave decorations in this cemetery, and I want to learn more about the techniques and symbolism and heritage so I can write something serious about them someday.

Sunday, March 24, 2019

Freising Flower Outtakes

New post up at the Blog My Family Knows About But Doesn't Actually Read.

I wanted to do a "5 photos" thing like I did with the Miniatur Wunderland, but the photos didn't seem all that good. I like this photo, but what the hell is that green thing?

And I liked this one, but there's a bug in the way.

Try again sometime, I guess.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Finished Object: Hexagon Snowflakes

I have finished something! I'm just as surprised as you are.

*Ancient Aliens voiceover* September 2017. I say I'm going to finish it, but soon realize it's horrible.

February 2019. Unfinished bits of things falling on my head combined with an anxiety attack over a complete lack of ideas force me to stare at this thing and wonder how it could be finished.

I go for my old stand-by, which I will heretoafter refer to as See Hexagons On The Flip Side (SHOFS?). I stole the method. I want all credit for the name.

It's puffy, because I didn't fuse the back to the batting, and on a small piece that seems to be a necessary step. (Unless you want puffy. I'm here to talk about myself, not judge your edge finishes.)

But it is a Finished Object, and I can give it to someone who will set flower pots on it like it came from the EuroShop or I can put it in a box.  It will not fall on my head again.

Also I got to make this neat graphic. Winning all around.

Wordless Wednesday

Monday, March 18, 2019

Today I made a GIF

I tweet too much.  I also spend a lot of time looking for animated gifs to tweet. I hardly recognize any of the stupid crap that shows up in the animated gif search on Twitter. It appears it's all from recent terrible semi-scripted television--and the worst shows get exported, so in theory I could be able to identify the Plastic Whores Of Snooty ZIP Code but I've got approximately 12 years of movies and TV created for vertebrates with central nervous systems that I haven't watched yet so why bother.

Since bitching wasn't helping, I decided to learn to roll my own. A monster has been created.

(You may also imagine that this is what I look like when I sit and tweet, except I've got a beer instead of a cigarette.)

Follow my GIPHY channel and favorite everything. When I get a dozen or so good ones, I'll apply for verification, so everyone on Twitter can see them and wonder what the hell this crap is supposed to be. HAH!

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Fastenzeit ist Starkbierzeit

In the spirit of seasonal eating, I've started a project to see how many Bock beers I can collect during Lent.  This is the general style that medieval monks in this region consumed during their 40 days of fasting; I'm opening it up to Weizenbock and Dopplebock and more (Celebrate Beerversity!).  Some of them I've enjoyed previously, some I haven't, and some are new. ๐Ÿ˜

I've hit five so far, without even walking out of my way.

Follow my list on Untappd for latest updates.