Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Everything is Stupid

Well, the EU Parliament just voted to make the internet read-only for its subjects who are unaffiliated with entertainment companies. I don't know how much longer I'll be allowed to upload images--or use Blogger at all, it'll be easier for Google to just wall off all the EU IP addresses--but [hippie voice] maybe the thing with creating is the creating itself and not trying to share it with human beings who live outside my house. 

[real voice] Nyah, that's bullshit. I need people to look at what I do and tell me it looks cool.

Anyway, this afternoon after it all went down I forced myself Outside into the cold, damp wind, because I keep hearing this rumor that walking through the woods can improve your mood.  The trees are being culled so fast, I'm not sure I can call it walking "through the woods" much longer. So, no improvement there. Everything is just as stupid, but now I'm frozen through and need an allergy pill.

It was too windy to use the camera's hi-def on flowers but it has some crazy artsy-fartsy-filter settings. Completely useless for identifiable photos of things, but alright for fucking around in a cemetery when you're in a bad mood anyway.

It's like a movie poster from the Weimar Era.
It's actually a quote from Francis of Assisi. "[He] who dies awakens to eternal life."

No post-processing except the watermark.
The sun came out while I was walking, but you'd never know from the photographs.

Can doves be goths?

I'll end with a straight photo--there are some very nice examples of traditional Bavarian painted metal grave decorations in this cemetery, and I want to learn more about the techniques and symbolism and heritage so I can write something serious about them someday.



Sunday, March 24, 2019

Freising Flower Outtakes

New post up at the Blog My Family Knows About But Doesn't Actually Read.

I wanted to do a "5 photos" thing like I did with the Miniatur Wunderland, but the photos didn't seem all that good. I like this photo, but what the hell is that green thing?


And I liked this one, but there's a bug in the way.



Try again sometime, I guess.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Finished Object: Hexagon Snowflakes

I have finished something! I'm just as surprised as you are.

*Ancient Aliens voiceover* September 2017. I say I'm going to finish it, but soon realize it's horrible.

February 2019. Unfinished bits of things falling on my head combined with an anxiety attack over a complete lack of ideas force me to stare at this thing and wonder how it could be finished.

I go for my old stand-by, which I will heretoafter refer to as See Hexagons On The Flip Side (SHOFS?). I stole the method. I want all credit for the name.



It's puffy, because I didn't fuse the back to the batting, and on a small piece that seems to be a necessary step. (Unless you want puffy. I'm here to talk about myself, not judge your edge finishes.)


But it is a Finished Object, and I can give it to someone who will set flower pots on it like it came from the EuroShop or I can put it in a box.  It will not fall on my head again.

Also I got to make this neat graphic. Winning all around.


Wordless Wednesday


Monday, March 18, 2019

Today I made a GIF

I tweet too much.  I also spend a lot of time looking for animated gifs to tweet. I hardly recognize any of the stupid crap that shows up in the animated gif search on Twitter. It appears it's all from recent terrible semi-scripted television--and the worst shows get exported, so in theory I could be able to identify the Plastic Whores Of Snooty ZIP Code but I've got approximately 12 years of movies and TV created for vertebrates with central nervous systems that I haven't watched yet so why bother.

Since bitching wasn't helping, I decided to learn to roll my own. A monster has been created.



(You may also imagine that this is what I look like when I sit and tweet, except I've got a beer instead of a cigarette.)

Follow my GIPHY channel and favorite everything. When I get a dozen or so good ones, I'll apply for verification, so everyone on Twitter can see them and wonder what the hell this crap is supposed to be. HAH!

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Fastenzeit ist Starkbierzeit

In the spirit of seasonal eating, I've started a project to see how many Bock beers I can collect during Lent.  This is the general style that medieval monks in this region consumed during their 40 days of fasting; I'm opening it up to Weizenbock and Dopplebock and more (Celebrate Beerversity!).  Some of them I've enjoyed previously, some I haven't, and some are new. ๐Ÿ˜

I've hit five so far, without even walking out of my way.

Follow my list on Untappd for latest updates.

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Unboxing the Stuffed Crust Pizza: Tex Mex

About twice a year Aldi does an "American" theme week of prepared foods. It's an interesting mix with some good stuff and some WTF.  Last month on Twitter a young academic CoastalCity-American visitor to Germany made fun of the products "Germans think Americans eat." I disagreed with some of his "not-American food" assessments (if I ate it in the Midwest in the 1980s, it's American food) but in general I am entertained by what gets labeled "American" around here.

I've tried enough of the "theme week" things over time to keep expectations low.  Frozen novelty food is disappointing. The cheap chocolate is unpleasantly waxy. And of course I'm not going to buy pre-fab pancakes or brownies because it's so easy to make amazing fresh ones at home.  I was expecting to buy only the sweet pickle relish, which tastes just like the cheap crap I grew up with and is not something found in Freising on the shelves of jars of things in vinegar.

But then I saw it:  The Stuffed Crust Pizza: Tex Mex. Made in Austria. That's not cheese in the crust, that's a 100% pork hot dog. The lack of corn is suspicious--corn where it doesn't belong is the usual signifier that a substance is "American" or "Mexican"--but also welcome.

I had to try it.


The picture looks pretty good, so let's unbox this bad boy:


Where's the cheese?!  (Shut up, brain.)  It's about 30 cm, and the box says it's 513g. I did not weigh it. The important thing is it fit on my plate. There is nothing else in the box.

This pizza contains 6.8% cheese, 4.1% ground beef, and 3.9% red bell pepper.  I cannot make this up.



I followed the directions on the package and baked at 225℃ for 16 minutes.


I chose to pair the dish with a standard Bavarian Helles, the soft white sandwich bread of beers, because its delicate lack of flavor cannot interfere with the food.

After baking, the pizza's cheese insufficiency is even more apparent.  But what about the hot dog?


Ah, there it is, snuggled into the bread with no extra cheese or sauce.  You can also see small chili flakes nestled in the ground beef topping.

So, how does it taste?

The middle is spicy-hot, there is possibly some chili oil mixed into the tomato.  I know I've said this three times, but it needs more cheese.  The crust under the beef is too thick and less crisp than I like, standard with frozen pizza.  The underside has a coating of flour I find annoying.

The hot dog is the best part of the dish, a little sweet, and not too salty.  The outer crust is very bready and reminds me of the frozen dough my grandmother would use for dinner rolls.  I want to dunk it in a cup of that yellow soy oil you get with American delivery pizza.  Not curry, though. Never curry.

The box says the whole pizza is one serving, but I was only able to finish half.

Final thoughts: As my expectations were low, I was not disappointed. I'm not breathlessly waiting for the next "American week", but neither do I regret this purchase.

I should get a Patreon. High-quality food reviews, right here. ๐Ÿ˜Ž